[Dan in Pasadena]

You married them gentlemen, they didn't adopt you. You aren't "in trouble" unless you allow yourselves to be.

Example: Your woman is all pi$$ed off because you used the toilet and didn't put the seat back down? Aren't all commodes made for both sexes? They are. Is it ANY harder to put the seat down than it is to lift it up? It is not. Is there any certainty that a woman will be the next person to use the commode after you do? No, you might use it again before she does. And last (my favorite) is it YOUR FAULT because a grown person is stupid enough to sit their @ss down in a bowl of water when they know they need the seat to be down and don't check it? No it is not. YOU check it, why can't they? So why are you "in trouble" if you leave the seat up? Because you allow it.

We all get "in trouble" because we didn't all say (in the beginning of our relationships when they ooh, ooh, ooh...loved us to death, baby!) "Hon, I love you and I am committed to you and I want to please you but I am never "in trouble" in my own home...and neither are you. If you have a complaint, lets talk about it but don't ever try to "punish" me as though I'm a child because I will not stand for it. If we treat each other as adults, we'll always be fine." We get in trouble because in our desire to have a good relationship, we acquiesce, back down, ease up, say "its not really that important to me". Well intended and stupid. Grow back your set.

This concludes the rant of a middle aged man who survived (barely) a divorce after 20 years!