John:
I agree that Mac printing can sometimes be more complicated that it should be. In some cases you have to use "Page Setup" in the application's Finder menu and settings within the actual printing pane.
I have had the best luck installing the actual printer's drivers that come with the printer or getting the right driver from the manufacturer's web site, as opposed to trying to use a generic driver.
I think this may solve most of the problems you mention.
Mule: You can post whatever you want, of course.
But, John asked a sincere question and just wanted some help. Macs aren't perfect, despite your claims that us Mac folks think they are.
FWIW.
Best