[charleskieffner]

dear senor lee, the first thang ya gotta do to get kind of settled in is:

1) buy snake shot

2) visit all the lower elevation amusements/parks/national parks etc. now. its cool out. basic edumacation.......spring fall winter play in dezert. summer play in mountains.

3) get swamp cooler working now so you dont have to pay for palo verde nuke klar gen station. a/c is spendy.

4) buy ice chest(trust me on this juan)

5) get your concealed carry weapons permit(one day class now)

6) understand that all bands on your radar detector used in this state K KA LAZER BEAM DEATH RAYS over 85mph yer going to da pokey.

7) understand that alot of intersections have red light cameras and photo radar

8) photo radar on 101 in snobbsdale

9) dont come to carefree/cavecreek and get drunk and drive. call me or taxi. this is the DEATH ZONE FOR LOUD PIPES/DUI/SPEEDING/ SHOOTING GUNS WHILE DOING THE AFOREMENTIONED!


10) visit ben avery gun range I-17 and carefree highway. p/u game and fish lit and get combo hunt fish lic. yes you need a hunting permit to shoot snakes.

11) do not shoot guns within 400yds(1/4 mile) of ANY BUILDING OCCUPIED OR NOT!

12) DO NOT CAMP WITHIN 400 yds of water hole

13) avoid any foaming at the mouth or slow moving critters plague and rabies here in lower dez.

14) get a ******* suntan slow. not in one day. vinegar poured into bathtub will help drunken lay out by pool fall asleep tan(burn).

15) visit patrick motorsports/stuttgart southwest both are great people. patrick is racey. jack is maintenance.

16) do not hire illegal aliens

17) throw all your black clothes away. throw black cars away also. trust me they are hot in da summer.

18) do not conceal weapon in car until you have ccw. must be in plain sight holstered can be loaded(cool huh?)

19) visit scottsdale gun club and dillon mfg. and DROOL!

20) call me at 602 558-1987 and i will give you 50 years of advice about da richest most diverse dezert in da world. da sonoran dezert. and how to break the fun barrier or how i avoid getting killed or caught!

21) recharge a/c unit on p-car just for drill. you will thank me