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hey thanks alot all of you. means alot. substance abuse is nothing until it comes knocking on your door!
taught my kids correct firearm handling, hunting rifle(.22's) and bow, older one back years ago got drawn juniors only rifle bull. got him on some cows but no bull. both of them have grown up doing the camping hunting fishing quad dirty biking offroad racing boating. hell i think they slept more in a sleeping bag than they did their own beds at home.
you can do everything for your kids, all your time, money, education, and still have them go down a path filled with lifes IED's. i have gone over and over in my mind why my older one took the path he has and have no answers. all of my friends have stated(read that pounded into my head) that i did nothing wrong and made el supremo efforts to thwart them from getting into trouble after the divorce. if i had continued as a regional mgr selling aerospace machine tools and traveling making the big bucks, im pretty sure my older son would be dead by now. i knew 9 years ago what a divorce can and will do to young kids. thats why i took the job i have now. always home, 2 stoplights 2 stop signs away from work(about 8.5 minutes) to attend to their school needs, general needs etc.. i have lesser pay but in retrospect i did manage to keep the older one alive. and btwn rehab(he went once), prison(3.6 years) and death..............i will gladly take the prison angle any day of the ******* week. the state has done for me what i could not. they have isolated him from his POS friends, they are rehabing him. he is taking auto classes, also took a thinking straight class(emphasis on STRAIGHT as in clean and sober) and those are the cards i was dealt. ashamed...........you bet your ass. hurt........beyond belief. embarrassed.......if you only knew. happy that hes still alive..............something only you can appreciate if you have to go through the dark side along with him. substance abuse doesnt just effect the one using, IT EFFECTS EVERYONE AROUND!
im going to sleep on this another night. hunting buddy and g/friend want me to write short sweet letter back without nailing him to the cross. no mention of how he screwed up at all. they want me to mention just what we have been doing his brother and myself. rebuilding out building, der porschen updatum's going to calif mtr speedway racing next week, getting drawn for 3 bull tags, his dog throttle doing good and basically tell him no matter what he has done i will always love him.
tough pill to take and as mentioned bittersweet day yesterday.
advice: at the first hint of drug abuse or unsavory friends hanging around yer kids.............get off yer ass , reel in the choker chain HARD, and do everything humanly possible to deter or change their behavior. i did all the above, was home everynight, and still ended up with this end result.
but on the good side............calif motor speedway this thursday, this weekend wood butcher/hideout from bike week rebuild out building fiesta, BIG HEAD TODD AND DA MONSTERS BASH this tuesday and the rest of the year focused on unit 10 11/28/08 elk hunt.
i cant ask for more. life aint a bowl of chocolates!
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