[Dueller]

Any stepdad goes in knowing he is below the stepkids as a priority with the wife in the big scheme of things. This is understandable and something you must accept. Yet the spouse seems to want you there when you agree on handling issues that arise but becomes defensive when don't see eye to eye of discipline, etc. And mothers become very defensive at times when you are unjustly critical or skeptical in mom's eyes.

So how do you handle it?. If you defer despite registering your disagreement, your accused of not wanting to accept responsibility. Sometimes you actually or indirectly communicate that "Fine...they're not my kids...you deal with it." Then you're really in the dog house for not being supportive.

I didn't really have much of a problem with my stepson...we have a great relationship and mother deferred to me on many issues. But with the dtr's I find myself sometimes being challenged or even blamed for things when mom sides with the girls.

Where/how do you draw the line?.