Do not read this if you are having a bad day. Theres nothing graphic, but its not pleasant.
3 weeks ago, I was selected as a juror in a rape case.
It had been my intent to post a story about my experience and the story of the case when the trial completed. But thats not going to happen. No one needs to hear the story. We pay police and prosecutors so that we the public don't need to hear these stories ourselves.
Yesterday, we convicted the acccused of 3 felony counts. His attorney, standing in the hallway with the defendants parents took the time to lash out at us as we left. "Do you know he is going to get 10 years to life?!?!"
You want to hate this guy. But this is not some boogyman that jumped out of bushes. This guy worked, was by all accounts a good second father to children that were not his. He's not a person you would feel uncomfortable having a beer with. But somewhere in his programming, somewhere along the way, he just failed to learn where the limits are. When he became angry, there were simply no brakes. He simply did unspeakable things when he was angry.
His mother and father sat behind him the entire trial. They were there when the verdicts were read.
Everyone has a mother. Most mothers have hopes and dreams for their children. And there she sat as we sent her son away, a convicted violent felon for life.
I drove home in new Mercedes, the car that I had picked up that very morning. I sobbed on the way home. I have spent today with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.
We did our job. I don't have a scrap of doubt in my mind as to his guilt. It was nice to hear afterwards that he priors.
But there are no winners. The destructions that was left behind...its upspeakable. I cannot bring my self to write of it.
I would like to say that this was satisfying experience. On some level it was. The police, prosecutors, judge, medical professionals....they were all amazingly compotent. It was nice to see my tax dollars at work with such quality people.
But I'm gutted. I'm nervous. I feel like someone kicked me in the stomach. I am overwhelmed with how lucky I am been in the cards life has dealt me. It pays in life if you make good decisions. But there is always a factor of luck there, and I think we all know that ones life can be changed in an instant.
I BSed myself that I was 'just doing my job', and that I wasn't taking it on board. But the voices of the victims children.......
I'm going to head for the bathroom now so my 4 year old doesn't see me crying.....
