Welp, through a wonderful collaboration between lady LUCK and the extreme generosity of a friend, I have come into posession (at an incredible price) of this:
The Nuova Simonelli "microbar".
http://www.espresso-machine-superstore.com/p/nuova-simonelli-microbar-pour-over-espresso-machine?utm_source=Google_Base&utm_medium=Shopbots&utm_term=nuova_simonelli_microbar_pour_over_espres so_machine&utm_campaign=9491796
Coffee geeks rejoice. Now I have to figure out where to put it. You just push a button and it's all automatic. Even makes foamy milk automatically (but I've been told it's a PITA to clean and deal with the machine if you do that, so I'm not gonna.)
I'm having a 2.4 REMOVAL PARTY sometime soon, so If you like fancy espresso, come on over!!!!!!!!!!