[Normy]

If I was President of the United States... I would be tempted to invade Myanmar to make sure that relief was distributed.

I'm sure that it would turn into a gigantic fiasco, with the aid going everwhere...but at the same time, sitting doing nothing while people starve? What the hell are you thinking?

Myanmar has 48 million people according to my atlas, which dates to 2000. General Ne Win rules the country with an iron hand that makes Joseph Stalin look like a great guy, but we are happily waxing our Porsche's in the United States of America. Why worry? Nothing we use comes from Myanmar anyway...

Have you ever flown above Myanmar? I have. It is a HUGE jungle! There is nothing down there but trees!~ I was mystified by the place, though I have to say that flying there is SCARY. The whole country works without ANY sort of control tower. Basically, when you fly over Myanmar, you approach a fix via GPS, and when you pass over it, you are required to speak over a frequency as follows: "This is Connie 915; we are at position GUNTRE, flight level 330, at time 0120 zulu. Expect position WACKO at time 0155 z, next position is THAIAM.

Even in places like far eastern Russia [where the controllers were ALWAYS drunk-!] we had no problem communicating with ground controllers. Not so in Myanmar! This place is incredible! We have a satellite phone in the 747 that I flew, and this was the ONLY way that I could have communicated with anyone at all. And Myanmar is a BIG country; it is the size of Texas!

One day, I flew for more than one hour with NO radio contact with the ground at all. All I flew over was JUNGLE. It was amazing! If I had had a raging fire on board while flying over that country...I have to tell you that I have NO idea what I would do! I would have looked for a lake, but other than that [there are none], I would have put the 747 tail-first into the jungle. My seat belts pulled as tight as can be, and I would just hold the nose up on the 231 foot airplane as long as possible. I susupect it would be about a day or two before anyone found the wreckage....pictures of the airplane, the headquarters building, me, my first officer, my second officer, and the ride on mechanic plastered all over the news. Since I have 5 coconut trees in my yard, I'm real good with with a machette and coconuts. I doubt I would have a proper machette...but I'm sure there will be plenty of sharp pieces of aluminum.

I'm sure the picture of me would be the worst that I've ever taken. Dammit!

Well, I work for Fedex now, and I am much safer than I was at that previous company. I fly over South Dakota these days. I'm basically doing a monkey's job, flipping switches, but you don't wind up over Burma with an fire at this company. Now you know why I gave up a job as Captain of a 747 to be the second officer of a 727.....

N!