[Jims5543]

I just went through this. My wifes grandfather passed away, I have known the man 20 years and I have grown very close to him. I was probably closer to him than any of my grandfathers.

We knew for a year he was going to die, he refused to have a heart valve operation he needed in order to live. At the same time his general health was slipping day to day quality of life was going downhill fast.

We almost lost him twice prior, 2 episodes of congestive heart failure, stints in the hospital once on life support and in a coma for 3 days.

We made a point of seeing him as much as possible, many weekend trips 50 miles away to his house, many many times we sat in the living room or the kitchen table as he told stories about growing up in Brooklyn, New York, about the war, about his life, what he saw what he did the people he met.

I remember fondly one Saturday, I loaded up the Weber Grill in the FJ and we shot up there for a impromptu grilling session, we stopped at the Italian market and bought a bunch of sausage, peppers, Italian bread, salad and wine. It made his day and it was reported to us he talked about that for weeks. It made us happy to know we could make him so happy.

Many times he turned to me when we were alone and confided in me that he just wanted to die, every minute of every day he was in pain, he was beginning to deteriorate to the point where he could not take care of himself and for a proud old school Italian man this was hell on earth.

2 weeks before he passed away we shot up on a Sunday to see him, he had just had a bad fight with his wife and sent her to their daughter house, he was sitting in the living room, in his chair, alone, in the dark, in the middle of the day, no TV, no radio. Just sitting there waiting to die. I wondered inside if that was to be the night.

He made it through mothers day, his son grilled for him that day too knowing how much he enjoyed it. His son was at his side when he passed at 4:00 Monday morning and administered the morphine to help him fade away easy.

I got a text message while on vacation in the Bahamas at 5 in the morning and my immediate though was, he finally rests in peace, he got what he needed. I was/am sad and will miss the guy but I am glad I got to spend a lot of time with him learning so much from him. He was as sharp as a tack right up to his last day.

Spend as much time with your uncle, do not ignore the elephant in the room, you both know its there, just enjoy your last days with him as much as possible and talk to him often. Keep him company when he wants it and accept whats coming. I do not know what kind of shape he is in but if he is anything like my wifes grandfather resting in peace may be a welcome thing.