Quote:
Originally Posted by craigster59
...My Wife and I have been together since 1985, and married in '02 (DanInPas and Sniper, I agree it's just paper, it was for insurance reasons). Believe you me, we've had bumps in the road and knockout, dragout arguments, but the bottom line is we respect each other and Love each other.
Walking away from a problem is easy, confronting your problems can be ugly and painful but you have to give it a shot.
By the way, I don't mean to disrespect people who have been through relationships where one side gives up while the other wants to work it out. If both aren't together, there's no hope for repair.
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Craig, I TRULY envy those of you that have a happy marriage. It was my intended life's goal. I THOUGHT I would be married for life. Like you, we had a few "hard spots" as most long term marriage do. Things you know you don't really see eye-to-eye on and you have generally worked out ways around these things; ways of dealing with them, but I was wrong.
If you have been together that long there is more than just your love at stake if things get tough. Certainly the children. Not only in the moment but the rest of their lives will be different than if you find a way to rekindle your relationship. I didn't truly understand the depth of that at the time. There are also a lifetimes memories and relationships with others. Loved ones on both sides and dear friends that are effected in the event of a split. I doubt my ex gave that serious consideration. When I see her now there is a sixth sense. I have known her since she was 13 years old. I KNOW what goes through her heqad and I know she has second thoughts. Unfortunately, tough! Her bed, she has to lay in it.
In the old days I'd hear so-and-so were splitting up and I'd say, "Gee, that's too bad" and I'd go about my day. Now if I hear it? It brings up a visceral pain for what they are about to go through. Not only emotionally but financially, parentally and forever. It lingers with me now.