[juanbenae]

I need to plan an intervention, not mine but a best friend of 30 years. He is a very successful contractor, has a beautiful family and is pissing it all away. He has spoken to at least two of our circle, not really out and out asking for help but expressing how unhappy his wife is due to his drinking. He’s an alcoholic/substance abuser and has been for years. His wife was well aware as they dated and lived together for 10 years before they married but is fed up. I will not get into the “she test drove the car for 10 years before she bought it” stuff because at this point I just don’t want to see my friend like this anymore. In speaking with his other confidant in the circle he really this time seems to be reaching out for our help the best he can in our testosterone fill don’t be a puss world. I want to help and not sure how to go about it.

My fellow confidant and I have spoken at length about an “intervention” but are not sure if we get the wife involved how it will go. We expect her to approve but an outside chance that she turns it around on us and it seems we are undermining his marriage or have misconstrued his talks with us. She is a great lady, but if she thinks he won’t join in the effort or we are unsuccessful in getting him help I don’t want it mentioned every time they get in a growl from now until forever. Him not playing along and going to rehab might signal be the end of the marriage and my face is attached to it should that come to fruition.

What I am thinking is get a couple recommendations for rehab facilities from the masses here, prepare some packages of info and try to get him to discuss it with us. Offer to support in person or in spirit when we suggest that we go speak with the wife about it. Suggest ways we can help maintain his business while he’s away, inquire as to how best we help could fill the gap of his absence with his children during his treatment.

Any suggestions, insight, facility recommendations or guidance would be considered and appreciated.

T$