[many944s]

Unfortunately, it is impossible to FORCE someone to get help. Usually the only way a habitual user/abuser will consent to anysort of rehab it once they "hit rock bottom". I know the phrase is overused, but it is the truth. Only once the person realizes all they have or possess is gone or going to leave will they really see what they are doing. not only to themselves, but to those who care about them.

Addictions are very difficult to understand. Sure, in my younger days I was no stranger to a handfull of the recreational substances: marijuana, cocaine, mushrooms, but even so I had the ability to stay away from the "more" dangerous drugs: LSD, Heroin, crack... Others I have known didn't have the luxury of self control. When I wasn't in the mood to partake I didn't. When the responsibility of a decent job came along I was able to walk away. I haven't used a hard drug in over 10 years. Sure I drink beer, smoke cigarettes when I drink and drink a crap load of caffene in iced tea, but nothing illegal.

Some very good friends of mine have recently been battling an addiction of a family member. He's 23, has 2 children: a 2 year old and a 1 year old, and a family that cares for him very much. It started with pain killers after a job site accident, when the script ran out, he turned to hot rails of cocaine, when his dealer got busted he moved on to heroin. No matter how much his family trys to get him help, he reposnds with the classic "I can handle it" or "I'm fine". He doesn't realize that he is risking loosing his kids, his family, or his life! His wife and my wife recently discussed the fact that she has to hide money from him, as it is nothing for him to blow the mortgage payment on H in a couple of days. Who knows what it will take for him to understand what he is doing? His wife of course enables the situation by staying with him. There are times that I wonder if she took the children and moved out if he would see... Then there is a part of me that thinks he would have all the free time in the world without the children and spend his entire day shooting up. There is no telling. Every addiction is different, it is caused by different triggers, and either "mellows" or "picks-up" the addict in different ways. To an outsider understanding it just isn't a possibility.

I din't mean to get that long-winded about the topic, sorry. The point is you can't get someone help (that will work in the long run) unless they want it, or understand that they need it. You are truely a good friend for trying to stick by through the problem, and seek help. Perhaps if you can get your friend to realize what they have to lose (in most cases everything) you might get that little edge you need get them usefull help.

Good luck and try to not give up!
-Nick