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I don't really see a bit "everyone is a winner" mentality going on, at least not in my kid's schools, sports programs, or anywhere else.

Yeah, I guess you do see it with really, really young kids (like 5 years old). But by, say 8 or 9, that's done. Kids are quickly ordered by skill and ability, and everyone knows it.

Some examples:

1. School. In our school, by 4th grade, everyone knows who has tested into the gifted program, who is an "A" student, and who is a "C" student. Those are just objective facts based on achievement, the kids have to, and do, deal with it. The ones who excel learn how to deal with it and get along with others (i.e., down play it, not mention it, etc.), and the ones at the bottom learn how to deal with it.

2. Sports. In organized sports, by 8/9 it is by NO STRETCH of the imagination an "all wins" situation. Scores are kept, teams are ranked, and a Champion is crowned. Rules are in place to ensure at least some participation (minimum innings played, minimum minutes played in basketball, etc.), but the ranking of players is never in doubt. The highly skilled play the impt positions, and play the most, the least play the least. All Star teams start by age 8. By 12 years old, if you are not a skilled player, you are riding the pine, and by 14 if you are not skilled, your baseball career is done.

Although I'm not sure that "everyone wins" is what the author is complaining about.

He seems to be saying that you can give your kids too much love and too much attention. I'd have to disagree with that. Yes, it needs to be the right kind of attention, moving towards positive things, and growth. But just because he was apparently ignored as a kid, he seems to be saying you should intentionally withhold love and attention from your kids. That's nuts.

A great quote I read was from Tiger Wood's dad. Of course, Tiger's dad was a huge part of his life. But they had a great, close relationship all the way through adulthood. Tiger's dad said something along the lines of "All of his life, I've been preparing him to leave me." That really made sense to me, and in making decisions involving kid-raising (both everyday little decisions, and long term decisions), that's what I always have in the back of my mind. Take the choice that is going to help him, in the long term, become a happy, healthy, confident, caring, successful adult.