[jyl]

You are right, firearms are serious business, and accidental discharges are a very bad thing. They are frightening and, when you think about the potential consequences, horrifying.

But you should try your best to respond to the situation in the most productive way, which may not necessarily be to respond with horror, anger, or other negative emotion.

The situation is that (a) shooting is optional for your wife, (b) you would like her to continue shooting with you (I assume), and (c) she has to learn to do so safely. If she were a recruit in basic training and you were a drill instructor, then only (c) would matter so you could kick her ass, humiliate her in public, make her drop and give you 100, etc. But obviously its not that situation.
Because of (a) and (b), you've got to be supportive and understanding, as well as firm and absolute.

Here's my suggestion. Tell her you know you over-reacted, but it was out of fear and love because she could have killed herself, and she is the center of your life, so you just lost it a bit. You want to work with her on shooting, but you need some time to get over it and calm down. Okay, that should keep you from sleeping in the garage. Later - like in a day or so - come back to the subject. Explain that guns only fire if the trigger is pulled, then work on gun safety and, when the time is right, ease back into shooting with her.

You might simply not be the kind of husband who is able to instruct his wife. If so, its not a sin. I know I have trouble teaching my wife certain things. I get too impatient. In that case, then don't teach her firearms safety yourself, send her to a class and you take it too, as moral support and as a refresher, because all of us have something to learn.

In future, try to avoid doing too much at once, at the range. If I take a newbie shooting for the first time, I don't plan on doing much (or any) shooting myself that day. I figure I will spend the time standing behind him, watching and reminding. I don't think I have ever taken two newbies shooting at once. I know you wife wasn't/isn't a newbie, but anyway the point is don't get overloaded.

Good luck. I read the comments above, that maybe your ego drove the over-reaction. Maybe, but my guess is that the way I wrote it (above) actually is/was the real reason for your over-reaction. When our loved ones are in danger, it frightens us and we often do react with anger. At least, some of us do. Its not really anger at them, its just sort of a violent release of emotion and fear. I've actually experienced it myself, and I've not been proud of my behaviour those times.