[scottmandue]

I got you beat,

I go to the absolute worst pizza place in the town.

The bathrooms would embarrass a Tijuana whore house owner.

It is on the low rent side of town and next to a laundromat (see above bathroom statement.)

A third of the music on the jukebox is in Spanish (not that there is anything wrong with that)

It is run by an Asian guy who is really nice to me because I am a regular customer, the food is OK but what I really like is the beer, he has Dos Equis amber, Tecate, Widmer, and a couple of domestics on tap.

So I am slumming it with my low rent friends and what appears to be a homeless lady comes in and it turns out they know her from riding the bus. They say hi and she sits down at our table with her tall boy in a brown paper bag. The owner is giving her the evil eye (understandably) but my friends waive him off and tell him she is OK. She then regals us with stories of UFOs, the economy, and her previous jobs as the secretary to the mayor and a makeup artist for the movie stars.

You can't make this stuff up!