How does one respond to their 24 yr old son, who is dying from cancer, when he says "I don't want to die. I'm scared."
Fortunately it is not my son, but the child of my very good friend and assistant at work. He was diagnosed with an ocular tumour when he was 14. After much anxiety and ambivalence they decided to remove his affected eye. It was a sage decision as it turned out to be melanoma.
After 8 yrs of follow up the oncologists suggested he start "making plans for the rest of his life" as there was no hint of metastasis. At 10 yrs, this March, he noticed some tenderness in his abdomen that was eventually diagnosed as metastatic melanoma involving his liver. Conventional chemo has been ineffective and the cancer has now spread to his pelvis and spine. His father now has to help bathe his 24 yr old son and it is breaking his heart.
What can one say to a young man, engaged to be married this summer, who is facing his imminent, painful demise? What can one say to his parents, dear friends, who have to watch their terrified son struggle and die?
