OK, I'm still near the rails, waving at where this thread has wound up, but my $.02.
I rode in Brooklyn and Manhattan for 5 years, at just about any time between dawn and dusk. I
felt safer riding there than I do out on country back roads. The statistics are what they are, but maybe it was b/c I was more alert, or drivers in the chaos that is NYC/Metro are more attuned to cyclists and traffic and pedestrians, etc.
Speaking of distractions, yes I wore spandex shorts (with other shorts over them) and garishly colored/designed tops. I'd rather have some driver say "look at the homo" than "officer, I swear I never saw him." Most of the gear is sized for european (read: effeminate) men, so it there wasn't much stuff on the 6'5" 255 lb "rack". But, brother, when I wore garish, I wore an acre of it!
OTOH, I usually rode/ride solo, as I can't deal with that insufferable tendency of most cyclists to claim title to some moral high ground unattainable by the rest of the world. And an Apple-owning cyclist... fuhgeddaboutit.
JP