[varmint]

college, senior year....

fred and cindy "have to" get married. we all trek to her home town, lake okoboji iowa. some hotels rooms get trashed. i sideswipe a tree with my firebird. one of fred's scumbag cousins pukes on my boots. the reverend decides at the last minute that he's not marrying these two in his church. so the townfolk open the city hall on a saturday just for us. the town seal/document stamp gets stolen. one of cindy's brothers beats up a guy over some missing coke. one of fred's scumbag cousins almost gets killed for feeling up a highschool girl. i am so hammered most of the weekend that i make out with one of cindy's aunts who is old enough to be my grandmother.

cindy's extended family comprise about a third of the towns population, so most of the wedding party escapes serious legal trouble. i have a deputy personally tell me that i should never come back here.

that was the second worst wedding i've ever been to.