[Les Paul]

In high school I had the wildest girl a guy could imagine. Perfect body, funny, sexy, and would push the envelope on everything. She was a cheerleader that refused to wear tights, never wore a bra when we were on dates and she was a 37D. I would pick her up for dates and after we'd get in my car she would unzip her coat without a stich on underneath. Then she'd ask "do we have to go to a movie?" Uh, tough call.

The first time we got caught it was in church after a youth fellowship meeting on Sunday night. We'd fixed the dinner that night and after cleaning up we had the church to ourselves. She never wore panties on dates either and we cut the lights and were on the kitchen table her grinding away, luckily with her skirt and top on when an old gent flipped on the light. We thought for sure we were busted. He turned the light off, left, and we never heard anything about it.

At a school play there was a coat check with a counter and door leading into to it facing the back of the auditorium. Her job as a cheerleader was to check coats. So the play is going on and rather than watch the play we threw down some coats and proceeded to get after it as people milled in and out of the auditorium. Didn't get caught but one of her buddies said she heard us. The next time her sister unexpectantly came home a couple of hours before she was supposed to and as we were watching one of the moon landings on the tube in the basement, with her sucking the chrome off my trailer hitch ball. Her sister tells my gf she is going to tell their mom but never did.

I lived about a mile from her house and would set my alarm for 1am run over to her house crawl into her window and do whatever. We would set the alarm for 5 and I would run home. On one particular occasion her sister was gone and since she had a queen size bed we were in her room. We had forgotten to set any alarm and luckily the stairs to the basement squeaked. We hear them that morning and she jumped out of bed, ran into her room and pulled on a robe as her dad had came down to wake her up. Luckily he didn't look in her sisters bedroom because I was still in the bed.

So, never knowing when to quit we were over at my house because school let out early for career day. My younger brother and mom who was a school teacher weren't supposed to be home till later. We are in my room luckily with the door locked and we hear the back door to the house open and someone coming down the basement steps. So my mom is pounding on my door asking why it is locked, and if I am in there with, "that" girl. Geeze. I make up some bs and she finally leaves. I hide her in my older brothers closet who is away at college. I'm out in the back yard taking out my trash when I see my mom heading back down the basement steps. She goes directly to my brothers closet and tells my gf she is going to tell her mother. My mom and her mom were in a weekly bridge club. I think we broke up the next week. I start dating another girl but this particular girl would call me and ask me if I wanted to drive out in the country to ----. Nah not me. I started getting nervous that miss hot box would rat me out so I reluctantly stopped the hijinks.

That summer I got home from work one day and go down to my room and OMG my bookcase is gone. My aunt who had been a missionary in India was back home for good and needed it back. I'd had it for years and had a pretty good collection of polaroids of past gf's. All in the XXX version. I fess up to my brothers and tell them to come help me find those pictures as they were stuffed in various books. Naturally they can't wait to see them. We never found the pictures. So that night at dinner my mom and 65 year old aunt who was eating dinner with us mentioned that it sure was nice I was dating so and so now. End of that story. That girl was so far ahead of her time. Shaved everthing, commando, you name it.