[Dan in Pasadena]

Lyon, You don't want to be the "bad guy", am I right? You can stand it when she is riding your butt (verbally!) but you cant' take it if you make her unhappy or make her cry?

Well, don't. Repeat after me, "This relationship isn't working for me and I am leaving. I wsh you the best, but I don't see it getting b etter for me and I am out of here".

Do NOT engage in all the psycho drama of a post mortem on the relationship. Do NOT allow yourself to think for a minute that you can "work it out" etc. I was married for 20 years and it ultimately never got "worked out". Don't text, don't have long conversations. When its over its over.

Here's a little tip; cynical and jaded? Yes but true. Good, healthy relationships don't have to be "worked on". That's a crock women want you to believe; and a lot of men have bought into that fiction. If a relationship is "good" - sexually satisfying - both parties, a fun woman/man you enjoy being with, someone you don't feel supersior NOR inferior to, she is respectful of your interests and you have no problem with her pursuing her interests? THAT'S a good relationship and it doesn't take "work". It takes faithfulness and appreciation it. That is all. Look for one of those and if you don't find it? Move the hell on with minimal drama.

P.S. to Supe. You are a smart man...and a lucky one. Sounds like you were as "devoted" to doing the right thing as I was. Took me a long time to learn, but learn I have. Its not "baggage" its experience. A smart person LEARNS from experience.