[onewhippedpuppy]

I dealt with this in my family, except it was a sibling of my wife's. We offered to let her live with us for her remaining year of college, in return for her babysitting, cleaning up after herself, etc. She proceeded to do nothing she agreed to, and her year of school started stretching longer. Coming home from work or school to see her lazy ass sleeping on our couch bugged me like nothing else. We had several tough conversations with her, which resulted in her briefly changing her ways, then going back to business as usual. The only reason I allowed her to stay with us for over a year was my wife. But when we moved out of our rental duplex into a purchased house, we told her "you aren't coming with us". Great decision. Sadly, her callous indifferent spoiled brat attitude has forever tainted the relationship with my wife.

Oddly enough, this is sibling #3 out of 9 (yes my wife is the oldest of 10). She was not any more spoiled, or treated any differently than the others. Shes the only one (thus far) that has shown this behavior. Her parents have had to take the same approach with her, cutting off any financial assistance and no longer paying tuition. After that point she finished school quickly, and now has a place of her own and a decent job. Still a spoiled brat though......

How does this apply to Ian? Wash your hands of it buddy. You are, as Dr. Phil would say, an enabler. As long as you provide ANY support, they will keep coming back for more. Make it known that Nov 1 is THE LAST DAY they are welcome in the house. When they leave, change the locks and remodel their room into something else. Don't leave any opening for them to come back. Otherwise, the first excuse they get, they'll be back.