[legion]

Not only can shooting yourself get you a house, but it's also a good replacement for sex:

http://www.pantagraph.com/articles/2008/10/03/wtf/doc48e532862bb12236831344.txt

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Authorities say a Fort Myers man shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend refused to have sex with him. The Lee County Sheriff's Office reported that a 29-year-old man and his girlfriend returned home from a bar early Wednesday morning.

The girlfriend told deputies that her boyfriend wanted to get intimate, but she just wanted to go to sleep. When she refused, he became irate.

Authorities said the girlfriend went to a spare bedroom, and several minutes later she heard two gunshots. She told deputies her boyfriend came into her room and threatened her. He then stumbled into the kitchen before falling into the oven, knocking himself unconscious.

The man was treated for two gunshot wounds to the arm and was taken to jail.

The man was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.