[jcommin]

I'm a single parent with a 20 year old son. I went out of the country for 2 weeks and gave my son and his girl friend instructions no parties. I came home to a clean house and suspected nothing. Two days later, I had 2 policeman come to the door to tell me they responded to a call at my house because loud music was playing. Now kids are very smart. If they don't answer the door, the police can't come in. Without a warrant, all they can do is wait for the persons to come out of the house; then they can be stopped, arrested, etc. Only when the door is opened can the police come in; you are giving them the responsibility to take charge. My son knows this and didn't answer the door.

The police tagged 25 kids coming out of my house, arresting only 1 person for under aged drinking. They estimated at least 50 kids and 25 cars around the house. After confronting my son; I really looked around. Nothing broken but several things missing, some of my personal stuff. I also have a rug, hand made from Iran, given to me as a gift that now has a couple of fruit punch stains on it. The wood floors looked dirty.

I took his car (I own it) away from him permanently. I made him clean the wood floors and tidy up the place. I was too stunned to be mad. I learned a few things.

My son doesn't get it. I further say most kids don't.
As a parent, no matter where you are (I was in South Africa) you are responsible and libel for activities in your home.


2 weeks later, I heard loud music that woke me up at 3:00 am. It was my son with 15 of his close personnal friends having a few beers. I have never seen so much alcohol since my college days. I was pissed off. I grabed my cell phone a called the police. Yes I called the police on my own son.

Like rats leaving a ship, they all scattered includung my son. They couldn't believe what I did. When my son finally came home, I grabbed him and said ' I tried this you way and now I'm going to do it my way'. I threw him out, changed the locks.

This happened in May of this year. My son needs to call me before he comes over. I sleep good at nite. I hear no loud music, especially that lolly pop song. Most of his friends if not all are afraid of me. I was depressed for a month because I couldn't believe it had to come to this. I questioned my parenting.

Looking back, it was the smartest thing I have ever done. I would do it again. Most of my friends said it was about time.

I read somwhere where President LBJ said ' if you tell somebody to go to hell, make sure he stays there'. I believe this. Threatening doesn't work - you need to act.