[HardDrive]

Dear Ferrari Guy,

I know you don't know me, but I live on 41st street in Seattle. You must live just over the hill where the really rich folks live, because you come past my house on the way into town. Let me start by saying that your Ferrari is BAD ASS. If I'm not mistaken its an F430 Spider. Just beautiful. The dark gray with burgundy leather looks very nice. Much better than than the typical red/yellow with a black interior. And that exhaust note! The way it barks when you start up the hill...heaven.

Unfortunately there is another issue to discuss here. When you are driving the car with the top down, could I recommend that you wear a hat? I'm thinking a simple baseball cap from your favorite sports team would too. I don't know, perhaps guys at your income level don't have baseball caps. If thats the case, feel free to stop by and I will hook you up.

The hat thing? Well, the problem is your big ass bald head. If it was just a regular guy, with a regular bald head, well thats fine. But....its freaking huge. And you not a short guy either. So you have this beautiful car, but all people really notice is your gigantic pumpkinesqe head sticking up like a fecking radar dome above the car. It literally looks like the Jack In The Box guy is driving around in his Ferrari. And thats a shame.

Lets face facts, there is a certain type of woman out there who will let you know her in a biblical sense merely because you own such a vehicle. But I promise you friend, you will spend more time making the beast with two backs if you just cover Mount Cueball with some sort of covering.

Side note, while I understand it, you really should get that goofy self concious grin off your face while your driving the car as well. Its not cool dude. Trust me, if I owned the vehicle, I would probably be driving around grinning with Mr. Chubby on board all day too. But if you have a car like that, it really take away from the 'I'm a Playa' mystique to have a giant pale sphere with teeth sticking off your shoulders in the drivers seat.

In closing, nice car, get a hat.

Your distant neighbor,
HardDrive.