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They are almost adults, not really kids anymore. At 19, the son should not even be living at home anymore, he's fully cooked and should be out on his own.
The daughter, a little younger, but she's pretty much fully cooked, the parenting is pretty much over, there is not a whole lot of influence parents can have on her anymore.
That's the inherent conflict with adult or near adult kids living at home. They are no longer programmed to accept parenting, and they are going to start "doing their own thing." (Which is a natural and good thing, who would want a 19 year old man who lives at home and does nothing but listen to mommy and daddy?).
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