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Good advice here, & I agree with most of it.
I moved out right after my 18th BD at the prompting of my parents when I had gotten a job working full time. I also had a part time job since I was in my jr. year of H.S. (working 4 nights/week) making enought to pay for my car, insurance, dating, and insurance. Also paid rent to my parents at their insistance. After H.S. & moving out, I got that full time job and could pay all of my expenses - though with not a whole lot left over. I realized two major things within a couple of weeks on my own. First, I enjoyed being responsible for myself, paying my bills, managing my expenses & income, and realized I had to also manage my social schedule to be able to meet my work obligations. Second I realized I never wanted to go back home to live under somebody's roof under somebody's rules. Along with that, I developed an appreciation for some of the rules I lived under before leaving my parent's home.
Maybe you could provide them with an independent experience & agree to subsidize a portion of their rental of an apartment - say 75% - with the agreement that they would be responsible for everything else. You might even suggest that they take a year off from school to work full time to support themselves and experience the free life. After that they could decide about school and cooperating with you in regards to your rules in exchange for your help & support. If you do that, you might have the discussion - with the company of your wife, that Hugh talked about ad they are on their way out. It's always a dilema.
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Marv Evans
'69 911E
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