[BeerBurner]

Washington DC keeps sending my dad letters to attend jury duty, followed by nasti-grams threatening to arrest him if he continues to not show.

The problem is that he's not ignoring his civic duty... rather, he's dead. My stepmom has been informing them of this tidbit of information since 2002 with no real progress*. She's waiting for them to show up at her door to arrest him and she'll them "He can be found at Arlington National Cemetary... Section whatever, Plot 61, second from the tree. Hopefully, the guards with the big guns won't mind you going after him." If this happens, I genuinely hope that I can be there to witness it.

BB.

* I have recently found out that while her efforts to inform DC of his status has not resulted in them acknowledging the fact that he's dead, there seems to be some evidence to support the idea that they think that while he's alive, she is now deceased. I'm not making this up.