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Leopard has VNC built in.
Go to System Preferences/Sharing
Enable Remote Management
Click Computer settings, mid/upper right of pane
Enable VNC Viewers can Control Screen with password
You may need to open/forward additional ports on your firewall, 5900 is standard but you may need to add 5901,5902, 5903. I'd look at his if you continue to have problems, IE should not be necessary under normal circumstances.
The last digit being the "display" that gets connected to.
Setup does sound correct, your client on the XP machine should be pointed to your external IP and the port forwarding handles the rest.
Which make and model of router is it?
Since it works internally I'd say you've got both machines correct, look more at the firewall.
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