[legion]

My wife got me Venture Brothers season 1 and season 2 on DVD.

Man, I love that show. It's so wrong, but so funny.

Henchman 21: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.
Henchman 24: Allegedly.
Henchman 21: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.
Henchman 24: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.
The Monarch: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen. We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen!

Brock Samson: You did this! You did this, didn't you? RRRAH!
Baron Ünderbheit: As usual, your detective skills are impeccable, Samson. You have succeeded in exposing my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino.

Triana Orpheus: Dad, I can take care of myself, you know.
Dr. Byron Orpheus: I'm sorry, pumpkin. I trust you to defend your honor. It's just that... MY PUMPKIN'S MAIDENHEAD IS NOT A PRIZE TO BE...
Triana Orpheus: DAD!

Dean Venture: Good thinking, bro'a'mine. And I thought I was supposed to be the smart one
Hank Venture: Ma Venture didn't raise no fools
Dean Venture: W-We don't have a mom, Hank...
[awkward silence]

Dr. Orpheus: Now I don't want to worry you with particulars but I am by trade a necromancer. You know what that means?

Brock Samson: Uh, that you have sex with dead people?

Orpheus: Phile. Necrophile. A necromancer can bring the dead to life!

[The Monarch wakes up on a bed, confused. He's rocking back and forth and hears a zipper unzip]

The Monarch: Ah. Hey. Hey, what the f...? Are you raping me?!

King Gorilla: No.

The Monarch: Oh, go..

King Gorilla: I was gonna.

The Monarch: Gonna? What the f***, King?

King Gorilla: I couldn't get it up.

The Monarch [While King Gorilla is talking]: Ahhh! Lalalalalalalalala

King Gorilla: You're built too much like a girl. I couldn't get into it.

The Monarch: Wait. Wait a... What? This isn't even my cell! What'd ya take me to your place?

King Gorilla: Well, I got porn here. It helps.

The Monarch [leaving the cell]: Ahhh! Lalalalalalalala

Dr. Venture - Stop it! They are Hank and Dean. They have all the same memories. Same annoying tendencies. Same everything. Look, if you have a clumsy child, you make them wear a helmet. If you have death prone children, you keep a few clones of them in your lab.