[Jeff Higgins]

Kelly walks into a pub in New York and orders two pints of Guiness. The bartender tells him to drink one first, then he could have a second.

"Ah, but you do not understand, lad. I have recently departed my home in Sligo County, leaving me dear brother Sean behind. For nigh on twenty years, we have met every Tuesday night, over a pint at the neighborhood pub. When I left, we agreed to hold the tradition 'till the day we die. The one is mine, the other is Sean's."

Needless to say, the bartender (and all of the regulars) were very touched by Kelly's story, so he quickly pulled a couple of pints and set them out for this likeable Irishman. This went on for years, every Tuesday night, like clockwork. Kelly always walked in at the same time, sat on the same stool, and finally the bartender got to having his two pints waiting for him when he arrived.

Then one Tuesday Kelly walks in, looking rather glum and downcast. The bartender has his two pints ready and waiting, but he sadly pushes one away. "I'll just be havin' the one tonight, lad..." No one knew what to say. Kelly wasn't his usual friendly self. Finally, the bartender breaks the heavy silence.

"Kelly, um.... I guess we don't know what to say.... if there is anything any one of us can do for you, for your family..."

"Ah, you're a fine lad; I thank you. 'Tis a glum day indeed. My mother raised hearty stock though, she did, an' I think I'll some day get over this. I'm a strong lad. It will be hard at first, I will not kid you...."

"Do you mind if we ask when the funeral might be, or where we can send flowers?"

"Funeral? Sweet mother of God, who, may I ask, has passed??"

"Why,... um... your brother, Sean? - you are only drinking one pint. And you said 'until the day we...'"

"Oh," (laughing heartily) "I can well understand your confusion. No, no - Sean is fine. Never better. It's just that my doctor told me I had to quit drinking".