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For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide. Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.
"We're saved!" shouted the guide. "Here comes man's best friend!"
"Sure," said the Irishman. "An' look at the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"
What's the difference between an Irish Wedding and an Irish Funeral?
One less drunk guy! Happy St. Paddys, off to drink Guiness.
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"There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule" - Mark Twain
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