I just wanted to post this in the hopes that it might wend its way through cyberspace & find you. Yeah YOU. The wonderful piece of humanity that did the cool smash & grab on the Hertz rental Yukon that was parked outside of L’Epice restaurant in Old Montreal Wednesday night two weeks ago about 9PM. Somehow, I doubt you own a Porsche but you never know.
You remember . . . it was getting really cold & windy that night. It’s a shame that you must work nights but I am sure that your family misses you & is constantly proud of the booty that you bring home. You broke the rear driver window & grabbed my briefcase from the back. It was a shame that you skipped the BMW behind me & the Lexus SUV in front because that would have exponentially increased your haul.
I am sorry that my briefcase didn’t contain a laptop which was probably your main hope. I feel ashamed that all you got for your efforts were two passports, my Florida Sunpass, an old scratched pair of prescription sunglasses & miscellaneous pens & hotel loyalty cards. Oh & the mount & cable for my new TomTom. I must apologize that the TomTom was in my coat pocket & therefore not available for your future use. Maybe next time.
You will be happy to know about the work that you have thrown my way. So far, this has involved a US Embassy visit, a Canadian Passport office visit – including that cool side trip to the lawyer’s office for that nifty notarized document. Of course, I also had to go for new mug shots for the above & that’s always fun too. Not to forget the phone calls. To Hertz. To VISA insurance. To Sunpass. And the list goes on . . .
Anyways, a big thank you once again. I hope that you can fence the passports. I am sure that it is rare to find two matching ones in one grab. I hope that you have the underworld contacts to sell them because they do have value even though I did unfortunately have to report them stolen. Although I will admit that the Montreal police were less than helpful in this matter. The telephone theft report – the next morning - was fun but they wanted to see me in person for the documents but I was already in a different city so I had to pass on this wonderful opportunity.
Oh . . . I especially want to thank you because now I get to have one of the new super-duper US passports with all of the pretty pictures & inspiring quotations & the embedded chip. I have included some pictures of this because it really looks much better than the old boring one. Maybe you have stolen one already?
Ian
