I worked at a chain pizza place in HS. My manager went through a nasty divorve during the time I was there. One night his ex comes in to eat.(Why she chose THIS place in the entire town I don't know.

)
He pi$$ed on her pizza after it was made and then cooked it. I didn't see it being eaten but I can only assume that it was.
Of course, he was the one that slipped me a lude one boring winter day....while at work.
For the record, I have never done anything lewd to anyone's food I was preparing.
I was too chicken and afraid to get caught.