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No one ever said to abandon ship, that you should stop loving her. From what you describe your wife is sucking all the oxygen (life) out of the room. You and your family have a right to breath as well. Relationships are 2 way streets, give and take.(that goes for children as well) Somebody has to tell your wife that this whole turn of events is hard on EVERYBODY in the family. Not just her.

Perhaps part of the problem is that your wife realizes that she is being made nice to because she is a gimp and that compounds the depression. Telling your wife she is a pain in the azz would go a long way, then nobody has to walk around on pins and needles cause it might upset moms.

Your kid is going to see what you do, what values you bring to the table..Actually it is already too late he has done institutionalized the family values by 10.

Honesty about how you feel and or your son feels is the ticket. If this continues on there will be people walking away permanently if not in fact then emotionally. And explosion you ain't seen it yet, the pressure is mounting.

There is an old axiom you can throw a person a life preserver but you can't make them grab onto it. You can not save anybody,they have to save themselves. You can only prop someone up for so long before you start to breakdown.

You Lubby and your family need some kind of outside help that is beyond this Boards and is more objective then ours can be. The longer you wait the more risk.