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I remember reading somewhere (perhaps this forum) that a guy's wife has gotten the time down to 8 minutes from catching the bird to popping it in the oven.
I'm no expert (not even kinda - just saw it in the movies), but if you pick up the bird by the head and swing it vigorously in a quick circle, it looks quick, clean and painless.
You're on your own from that point forward. Glad I could help. You're welcome.
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