[M.D. Holloway]

So I had to fly to Ohio then Utah this week. Before I took off this AM we had a reasonable chat - started at with her getting pissed that I was paying bills on-line with out her. She feels she is not involved in the household. OK, I get that and it is nothing new and I guess I do have some sort of ******* gene in me that just goes ahead and pays the bills with out letting her know even though she wants to know. I guess she is right, it is a control thing or something.

She asked me why after countless requests to get her involved in bill paying I still won't. "I guess I don't because I am pretty upset over the way you have treated me over these years and I don't seem to want to do what you want me to do."

"You weren't there for me when the eye doctor told me I couldn't/shouldn't drive anymore. The only thing you could say to me on the ride home was 'you do understand that you are not going to drive any more right', not 'don't worry, everything will be OK'.

"Yup, I was an ******* and careless and there is no excuse. I was pretty upset as well and I guess I didn't handle as well as I should have. But if you want to bring up the past how many time in the past 10 years have you said you want out? Or better yet, how about you telling me I wish I would die on the operating table when I went in for surgery on my eye. Lets now pull **** from the past."

"What do you want from me?" she said.

"Just be nice - fake it if you have too. Thats all I want. I don't want anything else and I swear things will go so so much better. This constant critical yapping and the snide remarks and the overall negetivity over the years has taken its toll."

"And just to let you know, you calling my Mom and asking her to come down tells me you have checked out. That was the worst thing you could have ever done. Who do you think my family is gonna side with you or their blind daughter? You just sent a signel to my family that you can;t handle it and you don't want to."

"OK, but I don't agree, I called your Mom because I think her daughter needs her now and yes I don;t know what to do. You have me scared shytless. Do I think your family will think differently? Maybe but what ever they think is what they think. How are they gonna feel when you show up on the door step because you want out of theis marrage and have no place to go?"

"Well I am going to leave."

"No your not"

"Yes! See your being a controlling *******! This is why I hate you!!!"

"Controlling? I call Bullshyt on that. I have never ever told you what to do or how to do it. I have never placed restrictions on you. Ever. I have never demanded anything from you. I don't want you to leave because I love you and I think that your place is with your kids who love you and you have a responcibility as do I to be with them...but not like this which is why I really think we need counseling."

After much 'discussion' she has agreed to talk to someone but I have to go first. No problem.