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Originally Posted by deanp
It sounds like there were some pretty heavy-duty underlying issues in the relationship that weren't being addressed to begin with and the loss of eyesight coupled with feeling like she's being left out and the understandable initial self pity have made the situation that much worse.
Threatening to leave (multiple times), asking if you really think her family will side with you or their 'blind daughter' and telling you she hates you certainly make it seem like she has already checked out and doesn't want to do the work or doesn't feel it's worth the work.
How much of the 12 years has consisted of snide comments, negativity and comments like wishing you dead on the operating table have you endured?
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A bunch. I have always maintained that a relationship is not 50/50. One side always loves the other more. I always knew I loved her more and that love was unconditional - that was never the case with her. I guess over the years I became immune and calused (sp) to it all. What do the pop-psych folks say 'enabling'?