Quote:
Originally Posted by DAEpperson
I don't care about...
Michel Vick
The (so-called) Lion of the Senate
The snail darter
Michael Jackson (thanks Tabby)
I am not afraid of...
Global warming
Endangered species
A health insurance crisis
I just can't seem to fit in with the news anymore. What does that make me?
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Obviously, you have forgotten how to use a newspaper properly. You're looking at the FRONT PAGE right now. You need to take that sheet of newsprint, and pull it from right to left by the corner. This exposes pages 2 and 3, which is where the real news starts. Repeat as needed until you either are sated with the news, or run out of pages to turn.
The interweb has insidiously fried the part of the human brain that once instinctively knew how to find page 2 of the newspaper, but with effort, funding, and maybe a charity drive or two, we can stop this brain killer.