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A bunch. I have always maintained that a relationship is not 50/50. One side always loves the other more. I always knew I loved her more and that love was unconditional - that was never the case with her. I guess over the years I became immune and calused (sp) to it all.
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That says a lot right there. I assume from this things were not good prior to the blindness? I was married for over 20 years in a similar situation. No verbal abuse, just lack of any real feelings. Found out at the end that she'd known since very early on she didn't love me the way I loved her. I put up with our situation way longer than I should have. Luckily my kids were older and she's a good Mom to them. She finally "let me go" when she was honest with herself about the situation. I really don't know what I'd do in your situation other than get the help that's been suggested for you to better cope, deal with, understand your situation and the impact on you and the kids.