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From your posts, you seem like such a good dude (once again, dude was in my lexicon before most of the posters on this board were a gleam).
Walk away.
One of my very good friends from HS married the exact wrong woman, we all knew it...like a huge red pimple on a forehead we could all see it, he couldn't.
It ended poorly. We are all still friends.
Ride the wave, be there when it beach breaks.
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1996 FJ80.
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