[legion]

After a bad breakup in college, I learned the lesson that there were some character traits/habits/beliefs that I could tolerate in a woman and some that would be toxic to a long-term relationship. I made a list of them. It really helped me stear clear of relationships with women (no matter how hot) that would eventually end in disaster.

This list is different for everyone, and I was fortunate at the time that I made it that I wasn't in a relationship--so I didn't try to fit it to any person. (Most of the time when people make a list like this, they are either trying to justifying a decision to date or not date a given person.)

What I'm getting at is are there real, underlying things about the other person that make the relationship fundamentally unsustainable, or is it the accumulation of relatively minor stuff that makes things uncomfortable even when nothing is really wrong?