[Nathans_Dad]

I understand your point Nostatic, I just disagree with it.

I think that you are free to consider yourself first all the way up to the point where you choose to have children. After that point your primary mission in life is to do everything in your power to raise those kids to be productive members of society.

I think a major step towards that goal for the kids is growing up with a two parent family. If that means battening down the hatches and doing the hard work it takes to rediscover respect and even love for your wife, then that is what it means.

I do not see love as something you fall into. I see it as a decision you make and something you work at every day. If you can fall into love, you can fall out of it too. Relationships take work, all too often in our society people just throw in the towel because they are tired of the status quo. They hit middle age, start to wonder about their mortality and all hell breaks loose.

It's not a coincidence that divorces are very common in the late 30s and early 40s. In the last year, I have seen my brother in law get divorced by his wife and two good friends split up as well. In none of the cases was the relationship unrepairable.