[ODDJOB UNO]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo-BABY this gets better.

me being me, knowing dysfunctional behavior as well as i do, decided to just keep the lights off, for the entire night. and "slink" around. well low and behold from my upstairs(i have the higher ground-tactical advantage) guess what drives out their driveway???? yep a bright yellow humvee that looks like it was prepped for a low ryder contest. i mean yer typical moron north scottsdale the bank owns my bling bling mean machine.

since i have higher ground, i can observe all movement of peoples and critters from quite a distance un aided by my steiner 6x30's, 7x50's, or my DOKTOR 15x80's or my 15x 80 bushnell spotting scope. (optics man ya gots to have optics ).


anyway goofy mobile drives by my house nice and slow, its dark, the house is dark, and im in the shadows. aka only da shadow knows. they drive into neighbors driveway and do a 180 and repeat the drive by my house nice and slow. at this point im afeared for my life! ya know that lil sphincter feeling, that "hey they wanna play hardball-game on."

well i had a couple barley pops, did my standard pre sleepy drill, of letting very big wolf weimereiner in for sleepy time. his name is "throttle" but his aka is "mr. snuggles" i go off to sleepy time dreaming of wifey/porsches/spoons/giant royal elk/dirt bikes/trophy trucks/"1" cars/meeting ashton kucher and taking pics with his d-90 camera, ya know typical dreams.


at 1:09A-FREEKING -M i get a call from this "clown attorney". yep his phone number on my cell. holy poo as i wipe my sleepy eyes! this is GOLDEN! harrasament at 1:00AM can you say "TELEPHONIC HARRASSMENT" to quote the ARS(az revised statutes).

low and behold i get a BATTERY OF CALLS that now say "private" about 9-10 until 1:20AM. and funny they dont leave a message? WTF?

so its now 7am, bean up since 6am "slinking around" and it appears mr. "clown attorney" is having a few problems with paint removal aka it aint really wanting to come off the wall! oh it SUCKS TO BE HIM THIS AM!


now my informed thoughts on this "clown attorney" henceforth known as the "CLOWN ATTORNEY" in all future documents, is the "clown attorney" and his wifey or g/f were late due to paint removal duties to some function last night. they decided upon admitting their STOO-PIDITY to leave house drive by my house as it appeared nojuan was home and scope me out. next they proceeded to whatever bar or party they had to attend late because of me and "I WAS THEIR NIGHTLY TOPIC!" oh boy! i lak that alot.

anyway after stumbling home drunk with some "liquid courage" they decided in their infinite "wizz-dumb" to telephonically harrass me. hmmmm. my early am actions to this matter will be dictated by the pelican trust.

my choices:

1) fly over their right now and kick his ass so far up to his ears that he wears his arse hole for a cowboy hat!

2) go to DEFCON ALERT LEVEL ALPHA and proceed with plan number 3.45 "clown attorney - entering property" mode.

3) call the cops

4) go to the cop shop and explain this and file charges

5) hop in 911 and drive somewhere today and light off new robar .380 and .45 pistoles for break in 100 rds or so each and blow off steam.

6) do nothing.

i await my fate here. im afeared!