Perhaps my secret Pelican Santa has skills he's been keeping silent from the rest of us, leading us astray with all his stories of spoons, hunting prowess, and blowing things up for a living.
Or, this could have been the gift he sent (fits more in the Pelican style):
The other fancily-decorated, non-Pelican gift above happens to be the only wrapped present we've received so far in our household. Everything else has come in brown boxes.
Gotta do something to fek with you guys. This wait is killing me.