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Boys in my family (I'm the youngest of six. Two girls, four boys) were taught (programmed, perhaps?) to be strong and show no fear. Displays of sadness or disappointment were not allowed and were punished. Display anger? Not an option.
At the risk of starting my own journal entry here in someone else's thread, I'd just offer that I think a lot of baby boomer males received similar upbringings and have suffered for it as grown men. I think that attempts to supress certain emotions are difficult and it's just easier to supress them all. When we mastered the art of being emotionless little boys we were praised for being well behaved and having self control. When we matured and attempted to have meaningful relationships with women who expected/needed emotional connections with us, these relationships were doomed from the start.
I'm lucky that my wife was committed to "us" and helped me with an almost forensic exploration of my upbringing. We both understand and accept me more now than ever. That doesn't necessarily stop her from describing my emotional condition as "Spock-like" at times, but when she does I know that's my cue to open up to her.
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Lee
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