[Dottore]

Since (as is apparent from other threads) some of you didn’t get the memo about the new PPOT Debating Rules, I thought I should draw the key points to your attention.

They’re really quite simple.

1. Forget facts. Facts are not important. Important is that you weigh in on a subject as though you understood it. When you know absolutely nothing about a topic, a quick look at Wiki will bring you up to speed in no time. Quote liberally from Wiki, but always disguise your quote, because, hey, everyone else is reading Wiki too.

2. Logic? What’s that? No need to be rational. Just say whatever comes to your mind. If anyone disagrees with you just call them names. (*******, asshat and douchenozzle are perennial favorites.) And if that doesn’t work, mail the mods in a huff and ask them to move the thread to PARF.

3. Post frequently on the gun threads. This will give you a certain gravitas that is highly respected here.

4. Finally, and most importantly, you must carefully construct, cultivate and mythologize your on-screen persona. This will make you irresistible to the new generation of grasshoppers on PPOT.

You could for example be a Falstaffian, Zorbaesque guru of infinite wisdom, taste and prescience, who is disturbingly close to his mother and whose only vice is gluttony. Or you could be an international man of mystery who drives important people to exotic lands on a jet plane, drinks flagons of whisky and rogers his cabin crew thrice daily, and then posts at length about his solitary adventures on the Hershey Highway from distant hotel rooms. Or you could be a mysterious man of action who writes poetry and draws ancient dragons, drives the best car in automotive history, dates scary black Russian lesbians with PhDs on internet forums, and spends long nights alone sharpening his Katana sword. Or you could keep it simple and just be a completely daft religious nut job who quotes scripture in reply to every issue raised. Or even better: a rock star! The possibilities are endless, and the only limit your imagination.

Hope this helps.