In recent years, I have been battling depression and serious anxiety. In 2005, my wife of 19 years and I divorced over what now seems trivial matters. I re-married a year later and my current wife and I have had some serious problems. We argue, sometimes daily, and it causes me serious distress. The arguments are usually over some misunderstanding or the way something was said. My current wife can be very impatient and sharp-tongued, so it makes for a very volatile combination with me. I have ADHD (diagnosed in 2006), have always felt awkward and am overly sensitive. I was tested for Asperger's, and while I have many indications, there aren't enough to diagnose me with it.
I am at the point where I need to more aggressively do something to help dealing with life and my home life in particular. My wife and I saw a counselor for a couple of years and while the talk therapy felt good for the hour that we were there, it did not have much of a lasting effect. I also tried psychiatric help, but it was nothing more than 15 minutes of "How are the drugs working?" and "Try this for a month and come back and see me". I have tried meds for ADHD and depression and anxiety and there doesn't seem to be a good overall solution. ADHD meds might help with focus, but cause extreme anxiety or aggressiveness. Anti-depressants (Paxil, Celexa, Lexapro, Pristiq) make me feel good, but cause all sorts of other side effects (digestive distress, restless sleep, weight gain, lack of sex drive) that are unacceptable.
Most recently, I tried Pristiq. Apparently, it is nothing more than a slightly modified version of Effexor XR. I immediately felt relaxed, at ease and able to handle anything my wife or step daughter threw at me. They also noticed a huge improvement and we were all more comfortable. The side effects started to become apparent within a day and so I started doing some reading and talking to other people. Turns out that this drug can cause PERMANENT sexual dysfunction. I know someone who took Effexor for 2 1/2 years and has been off of it for over 2 years and still needs to take the "little blue pill". Apparently, there are people who are completely disabled in this regard after taking this medicine for 5-6 years. In light of all this, I elected to cease taking Pristiq and asked my doctor to prescribe me some Wellbutrin as it has very few, if any side effects. Of course, it's a different kind of drug and after 2 days, it doesn't seem to take care of anxiety. Perhaps more time is needed to gain the full benefit.
I am nearing my wits end. There doesn't seem to be a good overall solution for me. Aside from ending my marriage and living alone, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be alone. At one point last weekend while on the Pristiq, my wife looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said that she had hope for our marriage because I was relaxed and easy to be around. It breaks my heart knowing that I am capable of being the calm and relaxed person that she needs me to be, but I can't find a way to get there without causing some other issue.
Have any of you had any success dealing with this sort of thing? I really need some help before it ruins my marriage and my life.
