[Z-man]

Originally Posted by m21sniper

I suspect none of them were particularly happy either, though i'm sure you'll swear that you all sing the theme song to the Mickey Mouse club nightly.

I can't speak for GH85Carrera, but that song was played at our wedding reception for our first dance... how'd ya know?!?

I kid, I kid...

(Actually, our first dance was the chicken dance, no kidding!)

Every body i know that is married is not happy.

Perhaps you need to expand your circle of friends...

You can love someone EVERY BIT AS MUCH without being taxed by the state for a marriage license.

See below for an aspect of love that is missing in the above statement.

That's all marriage is...a government intrusion. Love is real. Marriage is an artificial construct.

I respectfully disagree.

Love does not require marriage to function, though the introduction of marriage often causes love to transform into hate.

I agree - marriage is not a prerequisite for love. Neither is love a prerequisite for marriage. However, marriage requires commitment, which seems to me is something you may have an issue with, snipe. (Methinks that's the real reason for your disdain of marriage.) Marriage is an act of commitment - bu sadly too many people rush into marriage and ignore this basic element of the institution.

Short of a tax break, i see absolutely no upside to marriage whatsoever.

Based on your comments above, it seems that LOVE is an important concept in your life. Well in that case, may I state that a long and successful marriage is a direct manifestation of a very strong COMMITMENT to LOVE. That aspect of love simply cannot be experienced in multiple short-term relationships.

Also - you seem to equate marriage with unhappiness. Happy is an emotion that is based on what is happening at a given time. Being happy and being in love are not mutually inclusive -- there are times when love bring with it unhappiness. (Example: the loss of a loved one).

However, JOY and LOVE are more often paired together -- they can be mutually inclusive. Real deep joy occurs when LOVE is given enough time to grow and nurture and develop. Case in point: Kim and I have been married 15 years. As you know, a month ago, I broke my foot and have been immobilized severely. At home, Kim has been the most loving angel I can imagine. All the little things that she has done for me were done because she loves me. Everything from getting me a drink of water, to literally wiping my butt and feet after I shower, to taking over all the chores in the house that are my responsibliity. Over time, it is these little acts of love that brings us closer to each other.

So, if you want to be happy in your short term relationships without marriage - feel free. But don't discount those who have experienced deep joy through a loving marital relationship.

Is marriage hard work? You bet. But the benefits are well worth the effort.

-Z-man.

PS: Tonight, and for the rest of my life, I plan on curling up to a nice warm, loving wife when I go to bed. How about you?