Quote:
Originally Posted by 126coupe
My Dad is 81 years old with many health problems. 7 stints, bladder cancer, high blood pressure. He also has to have a 10-16 hour surgery to remove this gelatinous growth in his abdominal cavity, the growth is 25 pounds. He had it removed 5 years ago and it grew back. Its some kind of rare condition that pinches off his large intestine and prevents him from going #2. Now Colon cancer.
He won't tell any family members what's going on, I have to find out from his close friend and family lawyer the facts, weird?
You doctors out there, what is the chance of a man in his 80"s surviving an intense surgery like this? Apparently when they are in there the plan is to try and kill the colon cancer with chemo injections, (some new procedure).
The entire family wishes he would talk about it. He is old school and thinks its a sign of weakness to discuss his health issues, he does not even tell my Mom, his wife much.  |
I can empathise....but please don't be too harsh on your Dad for not telling you what is going on. He has obviously been through so much already with his health; that maybe he just can't sit you all down and talk with you about this.
I really don't want to upset you further; but I can't explain why I think your Dad is behaving like this without recounting my own experience...
I lost my Dad to colon cancer when he was only 71...after he had many other health issues; all of which he had beaten. He was TOUGH...and I still cannot believe he could succumb to this insidious cancer 7 years ago...
He never really wanted to sit Mum and I down to tell us exactly how dire the situation was...long story, but Mum and I had 4 days to ready ourselves for the inevitable. 4 days before he passed his specialist spent an hour with Mum and I with Dad's blessing and took us through the journey...I could have been SO ANGRY with him for this...Mum could have been totally incensed as well and we could have gone through a lot of energy being mad and feeling cheated by him...but we didn't. At no stage did either of us feel he had done the wrong thing by not keeping us totally in the loop...we just loved him all the more for trying to deal with all this the best way he thought how. He knew us both so well...and he knew particularly for me how I would have reacted....I would not have left his side; night or day. This would not have helped as he relied on me to keep everything together for all of us. He made a judgment call and I respect that call to this day. It was his life after all...
Maybe all you can do at this point is to give your Dad a big hug and a big kiss and let him know you are there for him...let him know you are willing to listen should he want to talk...
Just remember; none of us can walk a mile in another man's shoes...try not to judge him even though you are hurting so much...and be a rock for your Mum as no doubt she is being the rock for your Dad...she needs your support and strength now.