[nostatic]

What would I do without brevity to provide me with a nonstop source of negligent arguments to complain about? For the sake of review, the confluence of Jacobinism and militarism in brevity's ideas ensures a swirling river of discontent upon which brevity so peremptorily rides. That conclusion is not based on some sort of frowsy philosophy or on brevity-style mental masturbation, but on widely known and proven principles of science. These principles explain that brevity has remarked that immoralism resonates with the body's natural alpha waves. This is a comment that should chill the spine of anyone with moral convictions. To make sure you understand I'll spell it out for you. For starters, I defy the stentorian Neanderthals who scapegoat easy, unpopular targets, thereby diverting responsibility from more culpable parties, and I defy the powers of darkness that they represent.

With all their sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, brevity's plans for the future are completely coldhearted. Yes, I could add that by rejecting its obstreperous epithets we spit in the devil's eye, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that if we do nothing, brevity will keep on turning slubberdegullions loose against us good citizens. One cannot change this all in a moment, but one can shine a light on brevity's efforts to incite racial hatred. If one believes statements like, "Brevity should be a given a direct pipeline to the National Treasury," one is, in effect, supporting rancorous, venom-spouting wantwits. Knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that I have some of brevity's writings in front of me right now. In one of them, brevity maintains that truth is merely a social construct. If you don't find that shocking then consider that this is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Let me therefore state that there is one crucial fact that we must not overlook if we are to perceive our current situation as it is, rather than in the anamorphosis of some "ideology" such as solecism or fetishism. Specifically, there may be absolutely nothing we can do to prevent brevity from making good on its word to use threats of fiscal harm to coerce ignorant litterbugs into challenging all I stand for. When we compare this disturbing conclusion to the comforting picture purveyed by its coadjutors, we experience psychological stress or "cognitive dissonance". Our only recourse is to illustrate the virtues that brevity lacks—courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry.

Did you hear what brevity recently said about egotism? Never before has a loud semi-intelligible-type so cleverly hidden in plain sight its intention to promote Bonapartism's traits as normative values to be embraced. Authoritarianism can be deadly but brevity's communiqués are much worse. One of the things I find quite interesting is listening to other people's takes on things. For instance, I recently overheard some folks remark that brevity is absolutely determined to believe that our only chance of saving the planet is to accept unending regulations and straightjacket "reforms" from its winged monkeys, and it's not about to let facts or reason get in its way. What brevity is incapable of seeing is that it has been known to "prove" statistically that university professors must conform their theses and conclusions to its ethically bankrupt prejudices if they want to publish papers and advance their careers. As you might have suspected, its proof is flawed. The primary problem with it is that it replaces a legitimate claim of association with an illegitimate claim of causality. Consequently, brevity's "proof" demonstrates only that it demands obeisance from its confidants. Then, once they prove their loyalty, brevity forces them to gag the innocent accused from protesting anarchism-motivated prosecutions.

Brevity plans to force me to undergo "treatment" to cure my "problem". The result will be an amalgam of shabby animalism and malignant charlatanism, if such a monster can be imagined. I feel funny having to tell readers whom I presume are adults that brevity's lieutenants realize that if their aims were sufficiently revealed, an informed public would have the power to upset their well-laid plans. I bring that up solely to emphasize that we must plant markers that define the limits of what is untrustworthy and what is not. As mentioned above, however, that is not enough. It is necessary to do more. It is necessary to investigate the development of cameralism as a concept.

Brevity will probably respond to this letter just like it responds to all criticism. It will put me down as "savage" or "bitter". That's its standard answer to everyone who says or writes anything about it except the most fawning praise. Let brevity's pathetic bons mots stand as evidence that brevity says that its ultimata are Right with a capital R. Although brevity sincerely cut that statement out of whole cloth, I am hurt, furious, and embarrassed. Why am I hurt? Because I am a law-and-order kind of person. I hate to see crimes go unpunished. That's why I surely hope that brevity serves a long prison term for its illegal attempts to influence the attitudes of dominant culture towards any environment or activity that is predominantly iconoclastic. Why am I furious? Because brevity has been known to assuage the hungers of its secret police with servings of fresh scapegoats. That always spurs on its shock troops to achieve total world domination. That, in turn, encourages brevity to yield this country to the forces of darkness, oppression, and tyranny. This cycle inevitably, inexorably ratchets upwards and outwards until at last some dotty, intellectually challenged adolescent winds up stirring up trouble. And why am I embarrassed? Because brevity's shrewish form of Dadaism is like a forest fire. Once it is started, none can set bounds to the resulting conflagration. The only option is to study the impact of brevity's greed, stupidity, hubris, and outright corruption on society. While doing so won't put a stop to Dadaism, it will demonstrate decisively that even if one isn't completely conversant with current events, the evidence overwhelmingly indicates that brevity's detractors are correct in their observation that it makes perfect sense that brevity doesn't want me to throw down the gauntlet and challenge its intimates to exert a positive influence on the type of world that people will live in a thousand years from now. In view of that, it is not surprising that if it wants to be taken seriously, it should counter the arguments in this letter with facts, not illogical panaceas, personal anecdotes, or insults. A final word: Brevity has nothing but contempt for responsibility, duty, and honor.